Monday, March 30, 2015

“But I MUST say what I feel and think in some way–it is such a relief!”

You want to know something crazy? I had a desperate moment tonight and actually typed in Google What it takes to be a good writer and kind of just scrolled through the paragraphs looking for a quick do this and you'll be a pro kind of answer. I think that's maybe why I struggled some in college. I sometimes am so impatient; I want an answer right away and, truthfully, that's just not the way it works. 

I don't remember college being difficult at all. It was a good experience and had I have been a little more mature, a lot of what I learned would still be in full use today. I like to think a lot of it still is. There are many things I took away from it that I hope I can apply and remember forever. 

Somewhere around Sophomore year of college, there was this short story we read in my Comp class called, The Yellow Wallpaper, and to be totally honest, I just remember thinking the woman was nuts. I don't remember much about the story, though I am curious to read it again. I just know it was one of those moments in life, for me, where a genuine hunger for literature stemmed. I wanted to quit my day job and just read all day long. It was the first time I felt passionate about anything since being eight years old and really wanting to learn the guitar. It's a wonderful feeling. But if we're being completely honest here and we are.. I don't read anymore. Aside from the occasional scrolling of all things social media, I tend to stick to blogs and maybe articles here and there if I'm interested. I can remember a point in my life where that just wasn't enough. I craved story after story and when I finished, it still wasn't fulfilling. I wanted to start over and read the same book again for fear I'd missed something important and in the same, shared excitement because I couldn't wait to read the stories again as I'm certain I had become one with the main character. I love to read and it still makes me so serenely happy. 

Through all of the crazy that is my so-called life, I just wanted to take a minute to sort of reflect on why I'm here. May not make a whole lot of sense to you, but I started blogging because even more than I love reading, I love to write. It's such a challenge to find something in life that brings even the least bit of joy on harder days, and this does that for me.  

title: p. 24 

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